When the Morning Comes
by the-real-dandelion
Summary: Emma's first time wasn't as she has hopped it would be. Will Julian be able to support his parabatai through this rough time? (Story takes place just before Lady Midnight begins.
1. Chapter 1

_Hello everyone! This is my first ever fanfiction that I wrote about the TID characters so I hope it's not too bad. If you don't want to be spoiled don't read on! ******* This was inspired by Cassie's new post on her blog where she reveals that Emma has sex before the TID series begins which made me wonder what it would be like for Emma. I couldn't envision her actually enjoying her first time so here's what I think would more or less happen. This may become a 3 part story, although I'm happy with it being a 2 parts story, I guess I'll just see how it goes. The story is rater as M due to language and possible sex scenes. Hope you enjoy and leave a review to let me know what you thought and how I could improve! xxx_

**_DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own anything, all credits go to Cassandra Clare._**

Chapter 1

_'That's not what it was supposed to be like' _ Emma thought rolling over to her side of the bed. The bed wasn't hers, nor was the side because at home she would always sleep on the left side of the bed and keep the right side clear in case Julian decided to come in the middle of the night. _'Oh Julian... What will he think of me when he finds out...'_ Emma didn't want to even think about it. "You know how to satisfy a man, Carstairs" said Riley Bluebell rolling onto his back, his weight no longer pressing Emma down into the mattress.

Riley was a 19 year old boy Emma met in the club by the bar a few hours ago. Apparently, he went there often. He offered her a drink and things took off from there. Obviously, Emma didn't plan for them to go so far but when he offered to get a bottle of Vodka and drink it at his place, back then it didn't sound like such a bad idea. Normally, Emma wouldn't glance twice at someone like Riley; he was very pale, a little taller than Emma and skinny with a 2 day stubble and pair of eyes that looked almost as clear as glass. He had brownish hair that fell over his eyes reminding her of roots. In the darkness of the club Emma didn't notice any of these things, it was as if the darkness put some sort of filter over Riley's features to trick her. However, she wasn't picky last night. It was her parents 4th death anniversary and Emma desperately needed a distraction.

She's tried alcohol before and aside from killing demons, it was the second best thing that took her mind off things. Unfortunately, the more Emma drunk the less control she had over what she was doing. She didn't protest when Riley put an arm over her or when he began to move his hand over her thigh until it reached the zipper of her pants. She hasn't stopped him but she wish she has, only she felt so depressed and the alcohol was no longer enough to keep her mind off of her parents.

Emma heard a lot about sex making you feel great and how you forget about everything except for the desire and lust you feel. So she went for it. Only it was nothing like she imagined it would be. It was clumsy and awkward and just a mess of limbs and bodies moving against each other to get some sort of release. Riley wasn't violent but he wasn't careful either. He didn't wait for her to adjust when he entered her, only carried on moving not waiting a moment to consider how she felt. Once he was done, he didn't ask her if she was too. He just groaned into her ear, the mix of the alcohol, cigarettes and earth in the air, and pulled out with no warning. No sweet words of reassurance, no carefulness, no three magic words, no nothing.

"Were you expecting anything else?" Emma asked pushing the duvet aside and swinging her legs off of the bed. She tried to go for confident but her voice shook too much so she tried to pass it off as a yawn. She felt as if the mattress was burning her skin, her head felt dizzy and she was confused as to what has just happened. "Ah, no. A pretty girl like you could definitely not be bad at fucking." Emma flinched. _Fucking_. Is that what it was to him? Fucking? They definitely weren't making love but the word he used to describe it was very blunt.

Emma tried to locate her clothes in the dark room lighten by the first sun beams slipping in through the open widow. She realised her clothes were all over the place and all of the sudden she felt very much naked even though she has been for quite a while now. "What are you doing?" asked Riley very much surprised seeing Emma reach for her trousers. "Not that I mind the view, you have a nice ass". Emma stopped herself from making a rude comment and answered only with a short "I'm going home."

Riley tried to make her stay but Emma was dressed and standing in the frame of the front door before he could get out of bed. "I think I'd get bored" she threw over her shoulder before she shut the door as an answer to him proposing to 'do it again sometime'. Emma knew she was being rude but it was the last thing she cared about.

The moment the doors were closed she ran for the stairs and then for the main door of the building. When she was finally outside and the morning air brushed her skin, she considered catching a taxi or a bus but she knew she wouldn't be able to sit in one place long enough to arrive at the Institute so she ran instead. She ran until her muscles were screaming in pain and begging for a break but then she pushed herself even more enduring in the feeling which, even though only for a second, took her mind of things.

Finally, the Institute came into view and Emma flung the front door open to then sink to the floor, her back against the hard wood. She wasn't sure how long she was sitting there for but at some point she heard quiet footsteps and her name spoken in such a gentle and delicate way that she would doubt she heard anything if not for the footsteps that confirmed someone's presence. Emma knew the voice very well but her pride didn't let her look up. She knew full well that Julian was looking for her when she was gone and she was in no form or shape to face him right now.

"Emma" Julian repeated himself, this time a little bit louder, kneeling in front of her. She flinched when his hand laid on top of her knee, where just hours ago she's been touched by Riley. Straight away Emma realised her mistake, only too late because Julian moved his hand back. "Hey, look at me" he said instead. Emma knew she had no choice but to do what he asked of her. Obviously, she could have ran up the stairs and into her room but Julian would just follow her so there was no point.

Emma straightened up from her curled up position but did not dare to make eye contact with Julian. She was staring at the wooden floor that decorated the front room of the Institute and wondered how old it must be. "I was looking for you, you know. Everyone was getting worried." stated Julian softly. "Well, you didn't do a very good job at finding me, did you?" Emma snapped back but regretted it straight away. She was angry. Not at Julian but just at everything in general. At her parents' death, at Riley but most of all at herself.

Julian cupped her chin and forced her head up so now they were facing each other. "I know you don't mean it" he said and for the first time Emma looked him straight in the eye. His eyes were more green than blue in the early sun light and were accompanied by dark half-moons that told her he stayed up all night waiting for her to come home. His hair was messier than usual, the curls distorted probably from countless number of times he ran his hands through it, Emma realised. But his hands were warm and his smile was reassuring as always and before she knew it she flung her arms around his neck and let herself cry.

She cried for her parents death. She cried for wasting her first time on Riley. She cried for being unable to make the right choices and find who killed her parents. She cried for being so lost and for disappointing Julian. She just cried for everything that night and Julian just let her. He didn't ask questions, only picked her up and carried her to her bed where he laid her on the left side and he himself laid on the right.

Later that day when Julian was softly smoothing her hair she realised he didn't ask questions because he assumed that the only reason for her meltdown was the anniversary of her parents' death. In the quietness of the moment she concluded that she's not going to change that and not tell Julian about what happened that night. Some things are better left untold but what Emma didn't realised yet was that sometimes those things reveal themselves at the worst of times.


	2. Chapter 2

2 weeks later Emma has nearly forgotten about the incident of that unfortunate night. She tried not to think about it, sounds more like it. She decided that there's no point crying over something that already happened if you can't change it. Emma pushed that memory into the furthers corner of her mind together with the death of her parents in hopes that it won't bother her so much if she ignores it. She was wrong. Lately Emma spent more energy trying to ignore all of her problems that she was unable to concentrate on her training. She hoped no one noticed, unfortunately Julian has. Of course he has, he's her parabatai. One day he asked her what's wrong but she just dismissed his efforts with a wave of her hand and decided to train on her own. Julian kept on asking but she either ignored him or walked out the room. Not only did it frustrate him, but made him worry like crazy.

Today Julian has not asked her yet and it was getting late. She considered whether he gave up. The idea bothered her but she wasn't sure why. The thought distracted her enough to loosen the grip on her Cortana and drop it altogether when the door to the training room opened and Julian appeared in the frame of the door. "You should go get changed" he simply said eyeing the weapon on the floor and it hurt Emma how indifferent he sounded. "Why?" she asked reaching for Cortana and sliding it in her weapons belt. "We are going out. Christina is waiting for you in your room." Only now did she realise that Julian was wearing dark jeans with a white t-shirt and a leather jacket was hanging over his arm. She simply nodded and passed him in the door way. His hand hovered in the air over her shoulder but Julian decided against it and Emma was sure to hear a sigh of resignation when she reached the end of the corridor.

In her room Christina was already waiting with a set of clothes displayed on her bed. Nothing she would choose herself nor something she felt like wearing tonight but Emma decided to just go with it. After having a quick shower Emma put on the short, black dress that cling to her body like a second skin and threw her leather jacket over it. With the shoes Christina chose for her she was nearly as tall as Julian and she wondered if it would bother him. The outfit was more for a night when she wanted to seduce random boys and make out with them in the dark corners of a club until she'd leave them due to boredom without an explanation, however, this was the last thing she had on her mind tonight.

Once everyone was ready they left the Institute with Jamie and Christina at the front of the group, whilst Emma and Jules lingered behind. Emma didn't pay much attention to where they were going until they arrived and she stopped in her tracks causing Julian to bump into her. It was _the_ club. The same one where she met Riley. "What is it?" asked Julian getting hold of her arm, his eyebrows furrowed. "I can't-" Emma began but was interrupted by Christina who pulled her towards the entrance of the club against her will.

Inside was as many people as she remembered. Werewolves, vampires, faeries, warlocks and a few shadowhunters were dancing on the dance floor. Emma straight away made a bee line for the bar and ordered 3 rounds of shots at once. This club wasn't like the mundane ones. The bartenders didn't pay that much attention to how old their customers were seeing as it was quite difficult with supernatural qualities and all.

Emma downed the first round of shots one after the other, welcoming the familiar burning sensation in her throat. She was about to reach for the next one when Julian's hand stopped her. "Slow down, if you drink so fast there won't be enough for others." he joked and reached for one of the shots. Julian wasn't much of a drinker. He was always the one that carried everyone home when they were no longer able to stand. He would drink a few drinks but that's where his adventures end. "I'll drink as much as I want." she resorted and emptied another glass.

The moment the glass made contact with the surface of the bar, Emma heard female laughter from behind her. Confused, she looked over her shoulder and realised a bunch of vampire girls were drooling over Julian. Wait, over her parabatai? Emma eyed Julian and for the first time she realised that he was in fact very attractive. Emma felt a pang of jealousy towards those girls and anger began to bubble inside her body.

"You have an audience." Emma snarled and drank yet another shot pointing her head towards the group of girls. Julian appeared shocked but looked at the girls nonetheless which angered Emma even more, for reasons she did not understand. On the other hand Julian felt flattered and winked to one of the girls who wore red lipstick. He knew that lately girls have paid him more attention than usual but he tried not to let it get into his head. After all he was still just Julian and those people didn't know the first thing about him which he thought made them a bit shallow.

He averted his eyes to Emma to realise she had just ordered another round of drinks. "I think that's enough for this lady." he said to the bartender who huffed under his breath mumbling that she'll still have to pay for it. "Hey! I need-" began Emma but Julian cut her off pulling her to face him by her lower arm. "No. What you need, is to tell me what's going on." "I don't need to tell you anything, Julian!" she screamed at him. "Ah, so there is something after all."

Julian appeared satisfied and it frustrated her to no end. "Why do you always have to be so-" Emma began trying to pull her arm out of his grip but in the process bumped into someone walking behind her. "Look where the hell you're going!" she screamed turning around, ready for a round of insults but the moment the earthy smell hit her nose the words died on her tongue.

"Emma Carstairs of all people! Well, hello there beautiful, seducing another man I see. Don't you move on quickly!"Riley Bluebell exclaimed throwing his arms in the air. Emma couldn't move. She froze in the spot and cold sweat was collecting already on her lower back. "Why do you look so frightened, dear? Come, let me buy you a drink! We need to celebrate seeing each other again." Offered Riley grabbing her by the elbow and pulling her towards the bar. He ordered two drinks and looked at Emma. Riley looked somewhat different today, she thought. He no longer wore his punk clothes but a fancy, brown suit and flowers decorated his hair which now looked more like roots than the first time she saw him. Emma found this very suspicious and wondered if she missed out on some detail.

"Emma, who is this guy?" Julian asked for the first time, almost angry, making Emma jump. Riley appeared shocked. He placed the drink that he was trickling through the straw on the bar and eyed him. "Who... Who am I?" his voice was amused, he stood up from the stool by the bar and walked up to Julian pointing his finger at his torso. "If anything, who are _you_? Carstairs' new toy I presume?" "What the hell are you talking about?!" shouted Julian pushing Riley's hand away. Riley stumbled back a little but did not appear disheartened by Julian's behaviour. He exchanged a look between the two and began to uncontrollably laugh trying to form a sentence in the breaks for air. "She... She didn't... Tell you?" When only silence answered him, he stopped laughing and looked Emma dead in the eye. "You really didn't tell him. Oh well, dear boy let me explain it to you myself then."

Emma panicked. "No, Julian! Don't listen to him! I can-" Julian stopped her by holding his hand up. "You can what? Explain? Yeah, well it didn't seem like it when I asked you every day for the past 2 weeks." He eyed her and the drink that Riley bought for her. "And don't drink that. You can never trust the Fair Folk with drinks and food..." he said disgusted, his lips a grimace. And then it hit her. The earthy smell, hair reassembling roots and the flowers.. Riley was a Faerie and she _slept_ with him.

Emma straightened up and got hold of Julian's arm, pulling him away from Riley and towards the exit. Riley must have seen the realisation hit her hard because he shouted after the two shadowhunters "Oh Emma, don't be so mean. Why don't you give me a goodbye kiss? Or is this a declaration that you will come back for more?" snickered Riley leaning against the bar and the moment the last sentence left his mouth Julian stopped dead in his tracks. "You kissed the guy?" asked Julian in a hushed voice piercing Emma with his eyes. "Look Julian, it didn't mean anything!" Emma tried to reason with him but she knew it was too late. She knew Julian hated the Fair Folk for taking Mark away and talking, what more kissing, was like betrayal. The problem was that Emma felt exactly the same, only she realised who Riley was a little too late.

"How easily do you dismiss our... Well, it wasn't love it was a one night stand." Riley grinned, with his arms crossed over his chest. The anger bubbled up in Emma and she clenched her fists, her nails digging painfully into her skin. Before she could react, Julian was already standing in front of Riley holding him by the throat. "You will not touch her again, or so Angel help me because I will touch you but you won't be able to walk again. Do you understand?" Julian warned through clenched teeth and Emma stood in shock, never having seen Julian like this before. Riley barely nodded his head and his hand flew up to his throat where Julian's was before.

Julian walked past Emma not saying a word and Riley smiled. "I wouldn't have touched her again anyway. She's shit in bed." This time Emma laughed. "That's not what you said after we had sex" "No, I didn't. I said 'you sure know how to satisfy a man'. And I meant _a man with low expectations_, like your friend here." he nodded his head towards Julian and she was sure that he was getting ready to attack but she didn't give him the chance. Before any of them could react, Emma punched Riley in the face causing him to fall to his knees.

Emma made a motion with her hands as if she was getting rid of dust and loomed over Riley in her high hills. "If anything my dear Riley, _I_ had low expectations of men that night hence why I ended up with _you. _And now that I think about it, if you had to give a 16 year old girl one of you Faerie drinks to persuade her to touch you, it says a lot about how you perceive yourself, don't you think, _dear_?" Emma said in a fake polite voice and kicked him on the leg, as if he was some rubbish on the floor and made her way towards the exit, this time leaving the club with Julian right behind her.


	3. Chapter 3

So here it is, the last chapter of my little short story. Thank you very much to everyone who read my story and supported me whether it was by adding my story to favourites, following my story or writing a review! I feel like there's not much to add to this story after this chapter, however, I left myself some space to manoeuvre if I change my mind. Hope you enjoy! :)

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Emma pushed the exit door open with such a force that it bounced off the wall and shut close, making a loud sound that could be heard even over the deafening music. Emma paid little attention to it and strode forward, with her head proudly held high. As satisfied as Emma felt after punching Riley, she still could see red everywhere. Her hands were in fists and the stinging sensation of her nails piercing her skin only slightly calmed her temper. A few seconds after Emma left the club the door opened again only this time not with so much force.

Emma walked past a group of male werewolves who were with no doubt checking her out, realised Julian and it bothered him. It annoyed him that they would dare to look at her in such a 'hungry' way, giving her none of the respect that she deserved. Julian was aware of how beautiful his parabatai was, he knew it for a long time now, but he also knew that the way Emma dressed at times could be provoking. He never judged her for that, however, not everyone is as understanding as he is and unfortunately people get the wrong idea.

"Go on Drew, ask her for her number!" Julian heard one of the werewolves say to a blond, tanned guy slightly pushing him forward. The guy referred to as Drew hesitated and looked at his friends who encouraged him with hand gestures. "I wouldn't if I were you" muttered Julian under his nose, but apparently loud enough for Drew to hear. He looked over his shoulder and gave Julian a dirty look. The boy walked forward to Emma extending his hand just enough to tap her shoulder. "Hi, um, could I-" said Drew uncertainly but before he could finish Emma turned around and punched him in the face. She then just carried on walking although Drew staggered back and lost his balance ending up on the ground. "Told you" said Julian smirking and he jogged after Emma.

On the way to the Institute they stayed silent, except the time when Emma let out a frustrated scream and pulled off her shoes leaving them on the pavement. Julian laughed silently and picked them up, he preferred it when Emma was shorter than him. He then took out his mobile phone and messaged Jamie to let them know that he and Emma decided to go back home and not to worry. When they finally arrived at the Institute Emma took two steps at a time and ran to her room shutting the door behind her. Straight away he heard the sound of broken glass and objects falling to the floor. Julian decided to give her some time to cool down and in the mean time take a quick shower.

Once Julian was in his PJ's he realised that the noise coming from Emma's room has stopped and so he decided that it was safe to talk to her now. When he walked into her room it was messier than it ever was; some of the clothes were thrown out of the wardrobe, a few draws lying on the floor with its contest spilled out and a glass was in shreds next to the night stand. The only thing that lighten the room was the moon spilling in through the window and onto the bed where Julian realised Emma laid on the left side of the bed making him smile.

At a closer inspection he noticed she was holding her Cortana against her chest, her fingers slightly stained with blood. He affectionately brushed the hair out of her face and delicately took the weapon out of her hands and drew an iritaze on the wrist of her left hand. The stinging sensation was enough to wake Emma up and her eyes slowly fluttered open. "I'm so sorry, Julian." she whispered. "Don' be" he said and laid down next to her. "But-" "There's not but, Emma. He forced you to do it, hell this could be considered as rape for all I know." interrupted her Julian in an angry voice. Emma seemed surprised that Julian was understanding about it but the moment that thought crossed her mind she scolded herself. Of course Julian was understanding, it was Jules after all.

"You don't sound disappointed." stated Emma after studying his features for a second. Julian appeared taken aback by this statement. "Disappointed? You think I would think any less of you after what happened?" his only answer was silence which he took as a yes. "You're the same Emma that I knew before all of this happened and losing your virginity doesn't make you any worse of a person." whispered Julian quietly reaching for her hand and squeezing it tightly. "But he is a Fey, Julian! They took Mark from us! How could I not notice what he is?! I betrayed you and Mark and the kids!" Emma chocked on a sob and shut her eyes close. She couldn't bear to look a Julian, however, he was speechless. It took him a minute to collect his thoughts and make a coherent sentence. "I can't believe you are more worried about how I feel about this than the fact that he pretty much used you. How could I possibly be angry or disappointed with you, Emi?" At the sound of her nickname a warm sensation spread over hear heart. "You're too kind for your own good, Jules." she said her voice wavering. His hand reached her upper arm and with his finger he drew 9 letters on her skin: P-A-R-A-B-A-T-A-I. Emma's eyes flickered to his face in confusion. "That's what we are Em, and parabatais are there for each other no matter what." said Julian caressing her cheek. "Even if they do stupid and reckless things that the other person doesn't approve of because they know it's going to end badly." he added and they both cracked a smile.

A tear rolled down Emma's face and Jules quickly wiped it away with his thumb. "I'm guessing I'm the one who doesn't approve of things and you're the trouble maker?" asked Emma with laughter in her voice. Jules gave a throaty laugh and brought Emma closer to his chest, wrapping his arms around her. She could feel the vibrations going through her body and inhaled the smell of clovers, ocean and oil paints. "Of course, Emma." said Julian and kissed her both of them laid there in silence until they both fell the morning came Emma woke up to a memory of Julian whispering something into the darkness. A sentence that was constructed of three words, however, she swiftly dismissed this possibility as a dream and tried to never think of this memory again.


End file.
